Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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