Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
