I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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