the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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