A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
