i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
