she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
