He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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