You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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