why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
