My hand turned me down
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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