I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
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