dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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