I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
My vagina just clenched in fear
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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