how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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