Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
