I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
