i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
