someone threw a dead crab at me
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
We are all done wearing pants today
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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