Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
