my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
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