just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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