Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
