I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
