She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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