Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
