Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
