We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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