Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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