in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
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