am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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