quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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