I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
