I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
no you cant smoke seaweed
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
