Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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