So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
