She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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