but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
