i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Randomize
