his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
