I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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