can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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