Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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