This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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