after a month anything with tits is on the radar
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
