At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Randomize
