I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
