wat bout pragnant strippers??
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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