I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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