Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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